In one word, everything.
To elaborate, you can’t keep something you don’t feel worthy of. You may give it your all to get it but if deep down you believe that you don’t deserve it, you won’t keep it. You will lose it, give it away, have it stolen… you will find a way to let go of it. And it gets tricky here because on a conscious level, we don’t spend our days thinking whether we feel worthy of having it or not. What lies beneath the surface thoughts/problems/fears are feelings of shame and guilt that lead to feelings of unworthiness.
To give you a mild example from my own personal life, growing up, I got one item of new clothing a year for my birthday compared to my friends and cousins who got things they wanted with ease. When I got my 1st job and had access to money, what did I do? I went shopping! Every weekend! Did I wear everything I bought? May be once or twice. And then at the end of the year, I gave away most of it – almost new. And I repeated this pattern in a lot of things when it came to money.
To really make a point, here is another example. One of my ex-employers referred me for a job saying I was the first person he thought of when he was told about this new role in the company. The recruiter sent me the job description, I looked at the 1st page thinking, “I can do this”. And then I got to the second page and the heading read: Remuneration. Six figures and 10% – 15% bonus. Oh boy! And I remember then starting to question my own abilities. Can I do it? Something 20 seconds ago I thought I absolutely could. I started thinking, “I am only 25, they probably want someone with more experience…. Blah blah blah”. And of course I blew it.
It’s in hindsight that I see the patterns I had been running with money, and they all pointed to one thing: worthiness (lack of it in my case). Do I deserve it? Who am I to even think that I can have the kind of money I want? Am I worthy of having money? These are not the obvious questions we ask ourselves when having issues with money. But having the courage to witness the patterns and answering these questions will bring about clarity and hope. And hope is a good place to start. When you are hopeful, you are open to new never considered before possibilities.
Possibilities of new ways of being. New ways of thinking, feeling and acting. Willingness to change. Sometimes that takes a lot of courage. Let go of the clinging onto the familiar (no matter how damaging it has been, somehow we seem to find safety in the familiar zone). There is no growth in the familiar zone. Be bold. Step into the unknown. Choose to rise to your own worthiness. It has always been there, waiting for you. For you to claim it. So claim it. NOW is the best time to do it.
You did it?
Good! (You were always worthy)
P.S: If you are feeling stuck and can’t see a way out: reach out. Sometimes it helps to have someone from outside to come in and give you a helping hand. It’s okay to ask for help. It actually takes a lot of courage to ask for help. If you feel that I can help you in any way, connect with me at firstname.lastname@example.org